SCOTTY McLUKER

Mutt Wellness Shelf

2011-10-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

A new season, a new beginning. We are out of vodka and hence, the wellness shelf has arrived. Vitamins, detox tea, band-aids, allergy medication, cough drops, really anything you need to live happy and healthy. Mutt style.

Mutt Fun Day, round 2

2011-09-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

I love people–watching. I've watched for almost 23 years. It's how I learned invaluable lessons like riding a bicycle or pretending to listen and not–so–important lessons like where to hold my arms while standing for long periods of time. By watching others, I learn everything they know about what it is they're doing. This is how I reassure myself when trying something new and possibly humiliating or dangerous. For the most part, watchers watch and rarely do — we leave doing to those less afraid of making mistakes than ourselves. As a watcher, I never did anything without fully understanding the possible consequences, effectively eliminating all sports and outdoor activities for me early on. Imagine my surprise when I found myself holding a paddle in swimming trunks and a life vest on a raft — for fun.

I've only been a mutt for three months, but I've spent a majority of my time watching the other mutts and I thought I had them pretty much figured out. I knew that there were some who enjoyed light hikes and short camping trips, I didn't peg anyone as extremely adventurous or very athletic (I mean, this is a creative agency). Like most companies, Mutt has an annual fun day, sometimes a fun trip. Last year, the mutts went to Palm Springs for pool–side entertainment. The year before that, they threw a huge anniversary party at Beast in Portland. I was thrilled to find out where we were going for this year's real fun day (we already had a "fun day" that turned out to be an all staff meeting at Cromer's house) as soon as the email from Cheryl popped up in my inbox. Anxiety quickly replaced my joy when I read over the word "rafting" in the subject line. Rafting? The only other time I went rafting was at DIsneyland and I didn't even like it. I couldn't understand everyone else's excitement, I was terrified. What if I fall in? Or get lost? How should I wear my hair?

By the time rafting day came around, my nerves had come to a head. No amount of watching could have prepared me for +3 to +4 rapids that kicked our asses. The water was cold, my nose was sunburnt and no one stayed dry. Surprisingly enough, I did not fall in, get lost or care too much about my hair (only after the first water splashing fight). Even more of a surprise to me was that someone called me "athletic–looking" out on the water, literally the last adjective I'd use to describe myself. Getting out of the studio and onto the river with the mutts for a day was truly an experience — one I am glad I jumped into without over–analyzing and we all got to see my adventurous side, which almost never happens. Although we seemed a little hesitant toward rafting day at first, we all had a blast blowing off steam with water fights, paddle races and cliff diving in good company. Also, I am clearly an awesome rafter and might have found a new favorite pastime.

Controlled Chaos

2011-09-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

Around midnight

I often wonder if this is just how advertising works or if there is a special brand of controlled chaos here at Mutt. Take a new business pitch as example; I’ll try to describe what I witness. Now, I’m a bit of a spectator to the process since I deal in money & operations here but I think this gives me a unique perspective and a 40,000-foot view if you will.

Initially, when we learn of a new lead there is generally an air of skepticism, either having to do with how real the prospect seems to be or our odds of landing the business. There is always a warm up period, it’s kind of like needing to psyche each other up to go for it. Questions, doubts, reinforcements etc. But once we get there, watch out.

This is where the controlled chaos starts; it’s all hands on deck. Research goes crazy, finding all kinds of interesting (and sometimes not so interesting) information on the category, the business, the players, the target – everything. Here’s my first moment of wonder in the process. So many questions start flying around; good questions, thought provoking questions, silly questions, stupid questions. It becomes fun and everyone’s opinion is listened to. The entire agency participates, including myself. It’s pretty amazing that out of the opinions of 20 people comes that 1 nugget, the truth of what we believe will set this client up for success if they’re only smart enough to listen to us. And what’s interesting is that there is a mind shift here, the prospect hasn’t chosen us, but we begin considering them our client. You have to when you’re that deep & committed.

And now the hard part. The late nights start, the tense situations arise, tempers get a little edgy, empty wine & liquor bottles are all over the kitchen in the morning. We have to take our truth and make it come to life and come to life in inspiring ways. Make the client see why this is going to work and how it’s going to work. So many options and creative ideas are generated. The conference room is littered with ideas on the wall, ideas in a pile on the floor. The distillation down to 2 -3 pathways is hard and again, I wonder at the collaboration & intelligence that gets us there.

And it always comes down to the wire; the team is here late into the night & up until the night before the pitch. This isn’t laziness or true chaos; It’s passion. There is so much passion to do this right, every detail is thought about. How do we knock their socks off? The presentation deck is done & re-done & re-done. The ideas are refined & elaborated on. There is always some doubt that we’ll finish in time and that we’ll have everything fleshed-out, but I’ve never seen us go in unprepared. In the end, it comes together and is amazing.

This is my biggest take away – I work with passionate, crazy intelligent, fun-loving, hard working perfectionists. It’s impossible to avoid controlled chaos when you’re dealing with Mutt.

Growth Spurts

2011-04-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Mondays folks! This is kind of an awkward subject to bring up because it's not exactly current. But I have been meaning to mention it, so here it goes...

Mutt's been going through some growth spurts lately- spaces, faces and cosmetic surgery. Once the paint dries and the sawdust is swept we'll take some stellar photos to share. For now though, I'd like to introduce you to the new faces here at Mutt in a little series called, "Be The Best." Here's installment number one...

BE THE BEST.
Chris Lawson, Producer.

Mutt: Would you rather have the ability to see through walls, or the ability to unlock any door?

CL: See through walls.

Mutt: Where are you from?

CL: I was born in Reno, Nevada, but moved around a lot: Chicago, Dayton, Cincinnati, San Diego, then back to Fernley, NV. Fortunately, my father took over the parenting roll when I was 13 and I was shipped to the the NW, where I spent the remainder of my formative years.

Mutt: Best Job (besides Mutt, of course)?

CL: Freelance Production Manager. There's always a new challenge.

Mutt: Top 5 most played songs in your iTunes?

CL: My work computer isn't a good representation. If it was accurate I would guess it would be one of my many favorite bands: pixies, xtc, nick drake, the clash, elbow.

Mutt: Aside from any family members, who inspires you the most?

CL: My friends who are small business owners and artist who have the courage and vision to create and produce work independently.

Mutt: If you could grab a cocktail with anyone (living or dead) who would it be? Where would you go? And what would you order?

CL: This is a hard one. I guess I would say Antoni Gaudí. If he wasnʼt available I would love to get a drink with Picasso. I would order whatever they were having.

Chris Lawson, ladies and gentlemen...

Love Hurts

2011-04-15T02:21:00.000-07:00

I've gone through just about all of the stages of grieving since opening this post page. And I'm still hurt, especially my strawberry tart.

Let me fill the rest of you in. Today was D.Webb's last day with us (Mutt's).

I never know if I should write for everyone else in the office but this one's easy. I'm pretty sure about fifteen of us are right now, at this moment, weeping. Sixteen if you count Mona's howls. This is the face of devastation... Even those of us who are just finally getting to know ~~the Man~~ ~~the Myth~~ The Legend, are feeling a little hole swelling up inside.

Okay, I'm crying.

Damien was kind of a big deal. He's a killer designer, a stand-up guy and great friend. And he's English (which finally makes that strawberry tart joke funny). Plus he has two motorcycles. Let's be honest, he's totally cool. Which is only salt to the Loss Wound.

But I've reached Level Five: Acceptance now and I just figured it out. Mutt's a family, and that bond lasts forever and, perhaps most logically, you've got an iPhone.

I'm sad. We all are. But I'll be sending you iChats just as often.

Love you. Miss you.

Please Come Back...

aaron "lenscap!" james reports to spring training

2011-02-22T12:33:00.000-08:00

Moxie.

2011-02-21T08:14:00.000-08:00

Mutt is looking to hire a junior or mid-level account person. If you're interested email us at jobs@muttindustries.com.

time to get back to work, al

2011-02-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

Mutt Europe: On a Horse With No Name

2011-02-07T11:24:00.000-08:00

As McCommon pointed out, I am Mutt's sole European correspondent for the next couple weeks which means I find myself extremely busy handling all of my duties here in the land of burning euros (i.e. jamon department, octopus and potato taster, American songwriter, tour manager, language butcherer & unleaded into diesel automobile master) I won't lie. I am, as far as I know, Mutt's only songwriter/copywriter and they've known all along I have this bad habit of seeing the darker side of things, writing folk songs about it and playing them in far away places where no one I know is around to make my skin crawl.

For Dolorean, my band of ten years, it's our first tour in support of our new album The Unfazed which came out on January 18th of this year in the US and Europe. In the three years since our last album, You Can't Win, another band hailing from Barcelona, Spain has claimed the name Delorean (slightly different spelling) and has seemingly made love aurally to every music blogger, painfully hip record label and American Apparel shopper on the planet. Even worse, they probably fix a beautiful breakfast before they leave in the morning... While the music of Dolorean (us) and Delorean (them) is very, very different (they specialize in electro dance music), in the world of zeros and ones this has become a bit of a nightmare - comment threads get heated, show listings get messed up, even iTunes got it wrong for half of the day when our album came out. So what do we do? Like any glass-half-full crew of optimists we decide that we will ignore it and tour Spain for a week and a half to kick off the support of the new album.

The Spanish leg of our European tour was incredible - Burgos, Zaragoza, Castellon, Madrid, Cadiz, Huelva, Granada and back to Madrid again. Every venue was pleasantly packed, we sold every single CD and nearly every LP that we brought for this leg of the tour and the Spanish hospitality is unmatched. The food, the drinks and the late nights in Spain are world class. So what to make of this Dolorean/Delorean confusion. Did we really lose our name, our identity to another group of musicians? The answer came to light in our last night in Spain. At our booking agent's request we played an all acoustic set in his friend's perfectly curated bookstore called La Buena Vida. It was arranged last minute, the invitation was spread via word of mouth. When we set up to play at 9:30 on a Saturday night in Madrid the bookstore was packed. It was probably the best show of the tour so far - no PA, no tickets, no green room. What's in a name? Who cares, there's so much more in a song.

From Paris where just moments ago I told a French waiter "Gracias" -
Al James, Mutt Copywriter
First tour photo set lives here. (enjoy a selection below)

the world through al's eyes

2011-02-03T14:28:00.000-08:00

If you love something set it free.

2011-01-21T14:19:00.000-08:00

Mutt's very own Al James will be leaving us soon for Dolorean's European tour. We wish him much luck. Fly little birdy, fly.

Want to hear a little?

http://www.doloreanmusic.com/DoloreanPlayer.html

Mutt Holiday Party

2010-12-22T16:52:00.000-08:00

Thank you and Happy Holidays!

Love,

Mutt

we missed you Z...

When Gen X met the Millenials, it was murder.

2010-12-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

I remember the first time we met. I was at a trends presentation in Dallas. You were on slide 19.

Years later, the details are a bit fuzzy. But I do remember you and your peers clutching trophies and banging on about changing the world. I also remember wanting to vomit.

Last year you walked into my office looking for a job. You seemed humble and scared and nothing like the PowerPoint deck from Dallas. And you knew how to use Photoshop. So I offered you an internship; unpaid of course.

The first month you did everything we asked of you. And it pissed me off. I just knew you were snowballing us. I also knew that if I offered you a job, your notoriously obnoxious sense of entitlement would rear its ugly head and poison Mutt to its core.

So I offered you a job.

Weeks later, when you revealed you were living with your parents and that your mom was coming by to take you to lunch, I thought I had made a mistake. And when you returned from Pizza Schmiza with two large veggies for yourself and a kiddie-size pepperoni for the rest of the Mutts, I knew I had made a mistake.

But slowly, as we learned to turn recriminations into questions and differences into debates, our relationship began to thaw. I liked it when you complimented me for playing Seals and Croft. And I was grateful when you finally checked your digital snobbery and taught me how to use I-Chat. Now, every time I drag a JPEG into that little rectangle and send it ripping through cyberspace, I think of you and your humble tutelage.

I know we still have our awkward moments. Like today, when you tried to reason that a kickball match was more important than preparing for a new business pitch. But I do know that I’d be lost without you. And that, in spite of what I supposedly learned that day in Dallas, one should never judge a Millennial by a trends presentation.

Dance Embassador Dewitz

2010-11-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

I'd like to introduce you all to a very special Mutt. His name is Danny Dewitz- but we'd love for you to call him Dance Embassador Dewitz- and he is the head of R&DD (Research and Dance Development) here at Mutt HQ.

At first we didn't think we even needed an R&DD. After all, we're the forerunners of the gigging and jerkin movements. Not to mention we have a resident english folklore dance expert. But the moment Danny sent in his resumé (see the below) we knew we had to hire him.

And that was Danny at age 13. So it's no surprise that three days into his department's study of current Southern dance movements fifteen and a half year-old Danny found this gem. Ladies and gentlemen, allow us to introduce you to The Bern.

Ray Fresco

2010-11-16T22:03:00.000-08:00

Monsieur Luker and Mr. McCommon have been road tripping with the Ventura, California based rock band Ray Fresco. They've been climbing mountains, fending off killer mountain goats and making sweet lullabyes in the middle of Convict Lake, California:

The Times

2010-11-13T19:14:00.000-08:00

See, I fooled you there...You thought that was a title for a post with clever reflections on the trials and tribulations of everyday life here at Mutt HQ. I must say, I've got some promising material...but I feel it needs a healthy dose of holiday season nostalgia. Stay tuned for that until either Thanksgiving or Chrismahanukwanzakah for that installment (under a different title of course, maybe "The Year Of The Pigon?")

Instead, we're making the title literal. When you think of non-interval-based "times," what do you think of?

Perhaps, New York?

Like, the New York Times?

Yeah, like that one. And that one wrote a thing about us (or mentioned us in a thing it wrote about them/them).

For a second I thought Steve and Mike were actually on a Vision Quest.

The Hibernator

2010-11-10T10:15:00.000-08:00

Scott Cromer, age 5, wondering how a bear is so lucky to be able to take naps.

In addition to thick manes of hair and intimidating size, Bears and I have a lot in common. Another one of these commonalities is impressive sleeping abilities. Last night I went home and passed out on my bed after eating half a sandwich and a warm bowl of vegetable soup. I've been illy lately, and as a result i've been exhausted. Anyway, I took a four-hour nap and then woke up around 11 and thought, "man am I glad I'm not Scott Cromer."

See, to start, Herr Cromer probably couldn't nap for four hours if his life depended on it. And second, if he could, he'd have no chance at sleeping through the night. He doesn't have it as bad as some, but he's pretty much an insomniac, which goes a long way in explaining his severe mood swings.

But my name isn't Scott Cromer, it's David Zavertnik and I am the Hibernator. So twelve hours later, after I woke up from my second sleep for the evening, I thought more about sleeping - specifically, those of us at the office who love to sleep. Have you ever seen a sleeping Mutt?

Beauvais sleeps on his back

Nick is a chair-sleeper

Scott prefers his stomach and the comfort of his laptop

Luker's a stomach sleeper but requires ultimate comfort.

I have yet to witness the sleeping patterns of Mike McCommon or Damien Webb, but I promise to keep you posted with any developments.

Our Friend Joel

2010-11-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

It's been at least a month since I've last seen our mayng Joel Colley. Last time we were chatting, he was building little office oases (which is the plural for oasis, because he built something like 75 sets) for my other main mayng, RJohnson. And since then Colley (and RJ) have been flourishing.

As I fffffound out last night, Joel entered a pair of Play-Doh kicks into Core77's one-hour design challenge. Not only did the man enter, he received honorable mention - despite deserving something in the range of Medal. Peep the Air Max's he made...

Anywho, as I contemplated the mental processes of today's design challenges, I watched an episode of Sneaker Game. Have you all seen this? If not, you're slippin' kid....My mayng Patrick Tinkle is killing it this episode with the bedazzler.

Foursquare?

2010-10-28T16:51:00.000-07:00

As you may, or may not have heard, Foursquare is the new twitter. And being the digitally savvy people that we are here at Mutt, we've joined the club. That's right, Mutt HQ is on Foursquare and, of course, it's all about incentives and becoming the mayor and whatnot.

We have a very special incentive program here. Check in at Mutt three times and receive an original ink portrait by our very own Head of Research, Scott Cromer.

For those of you unfamiliar with CromerArt®, here's a tantalizing introduction:

Red Plaid Shirt day at MUTT Today! Tell everyone.

2010-10-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

"That was impressive."

2010-10-21T23:27:00.000-07:00

Oh Canada!

2010-10-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

In an effort to be a be a little more worldly, I recently subscribed to a few international newspapers, one of those being The Globe and Mail. I don't exactly have time to read all the papers in a morning, so I generally pick a paper per day and get up nice and early to read it before work.

Wednesday's are The Globe and Mail days, so imagine my surprise as I'm flipping page by page and all of a sudden the familiar face of Mutt's favorite fashionista, Miss Rachel Mara, is staring at me. Life couldn't be more perfect, because the article is a perfect segue into today's blog post.

Today is all about Rachel Mara. You see, over the past couple weeks Rachel has been receiving a lot of coverage (read more articles about her here, here, here, here and here, and watch her on Breakfast Television Toronto and CHCH Morning Live) for her participation in the LG Fashion Week in Toronto.

We're all terribly excited for Rachel and wish her the best tonight (you can stream the coverage here, her show starts at 8pm Toronto time, 6pm Portland time).

And finally, for those of you who won't be able to catch the coverage, peep Mutt's latest creative venture for Rachel Mara's 2011 Spring line.

America ♥s Automobiles

2010-10-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Ad Age named Ford Motor Company Marketer Of The Year for 2010. I say this because I'd also like to mention that we here at Mutt have been involved in a pretty stellar collaboration with Team Detroit over the past year.

It all started a little over a year ago when Team Detroit's ECD, Toby Barlow, asked Mutt to help collaborate on the all new Ford Fiesta project.

Actually, the story really started the summer prior to this, when I picked up a promising looking book (read: cool cover) titled Sharp Teeth by some advertising guy. Turns out that advertising guy was this Toby Barlow. Talk about a small world. And for the record, the book was good, it's about werewolves in LA.

So fast forward past that summer's read and cut-to all of us Mutt's feverishly writing "Big" launch spots for the not-so-big Ford Fiesta. Concepts, scripts, storyboards and several presentations later and the Ford Fiesta became a pretty big deal.

Then Team Detroit went silent for about six months until a few months ago when they approached us for another job. This time we'd be helping not only to concept but also produce spots for the 2011 Ford Explorer. We're well into the process and can't wait to show you what we're working on (mostly I don't know what I can and cannot show you right now).

Until then, we'd like to give big ups to big man Ford Motors for the Marketer of the Year award and we hope 2011 is equally successful.

I Love My Ducks

2010-10-18T12:02:00.000-07:00

It's true, I went to Oregon, and as a result I'm one of those occasionally obnoxious Ducks fans you can hear screaming "O" from down the street. Or in the booth right next to yours.

So as the Ducks relaxed in their sheepskin slippers and watched the Buckeyes crumble, I was in the snow-capped mountains of Baker National Park sporting my t-shirt while I entered one of the deepest meditations of my life.

Mid-way through the meditation my spirit animal came to me and dropped some knowledge. Over the course of the night we sipped whiskey, watched the stars and kept ourselves warm with a pushup contest (he won). Just before he left, he saved my life from a cougar that found itself a little too far north...

My Spirit Animal is a Bad Ass.

Now, after the weekend away from it all, we can all celebrate our newfound position as the most dominant team in College Football. Yes, Oregon is number one, and that means everyone else is going to come hating (including the BCS computers). Haters love to hate, but I myself am more of a lover. And my oh my do I love my Ducks.

It's September 14th

2010-09-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

And I feel like writing a blog post.

I also feel like curling up under a blanket with a glass of wine and a nice book (or in the case of this evening, the latest episode of Mad Men).

But first, where the hell have we been? It's been nearly a month since the last time I updated you on the goings on of Our Dear Mutt, and that sad fact makes my bones hurt.

A Surgeon I am not...

Well, here's your update- my hand in a terrarium. Yessuh. We've gotten our hands on something like seventy-five glass globes that we're filling with ideal office environments for our international friends RJohnson (you should re-click that link in a week or so for some terrific terrariupdates, not the smoothest but tee-hee).

In just four days time a few of us Mutts are heading to Vancouver for the weekend to plant (PUN!) these beasts (NOT A PUN!) in the heart of Vancouver's business district. For those of you following Mutt in the friendliest third of North America, here's a little map to help you flourish.

Auf Wiedersehen

2010-08-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

That's German for goodbye, something we hate saying here at Mutt, especially to new friends and family. In this case we're losing a member of the pack, Miss Darcie Burrell, one of the summer interns (and then there was one) and second female of the office (Raphie is crushed).

In two short months Darcie has touched every account attributed to Mutt Industries as well as aiding in a few pitches. And she's been killing it. Next week Darcie starts at our old friends W+K, where she'll get to experience life in a big agency. Admittedly it makes us all very sad, but we're all hoping she'll be back. In the meantime she's left us with her face on our plants.

Great work Darcie, thank you for the words, awkward silences and great ideas. It was a pleasure to get to know you, you'll be missed

I Guess This is Goodbye - The Wake Continues

2010-08-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

The John Deere Plow Company made tractors in our office.

As always, my spiritual guide and on-again off-again pilates instructor, Scott Cromer, was a stride ahead of me and stole my story.

Let me reiterate his sentiment. Mutt Industries is in mourning today.

The very proud symbol that has guided lost (and overburdened) souls to the Mutt den for our lifetime (and plenty others years before our existence) has officially been lost. Unabashedly washed away by men in white.

We had concerns months ago with the installation of The Mini Strip along the East wall. I imagine we all privately recognized the addition wasn't on the part of the PSC trying to boost it's street cred. Although, for a while you'd have fooled me. It was glorious while it lasted- have you ever seen such amazing big type?

I'm making an effort to be less precious these days, but give me this one. There's something sentimental being destroyed here. I'm disappointed.

I suppose our wildest childhood fantasies have been sort of fulfilled- we're sponsored.

Give us a hand in welcoming your Mutt Industries home to the the Alaskan Airlines Nonstop-To-Who-The-Hell-Cares Building.

I wonder if we can buy Clear Channel out...

One Bad Paint Job.

2010-08-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on our way to lunch, the partners and I spotted a man high up on a scaffold whitewashing the iconic Portland Storage Company sign that lords over southeast Portland. At first glance we chuckled and made some smart ass jokes about the sloppy paint job. But moments later, when I finally realized the enormity of what was happening, my heart sank and I spent the next ten minutes stabbing at my Buffalo Chicken Salad.

To a naïve outsider like you, this whole scenario might seem trite and irrelevant. But really it’s not. This sign, this bold beacon of prosperity was our siren. Our lighthouse in dark and troubled times. I remember, upon first moving to the neighborhood, getting lost while out and about in SE Portland. It was late and I had no idea where I was. Yes, I had consumed a few beers and bourbons…but that’s beside the point. As I anxiously gazed westward, I remember finally spotting that cocky sign in all its lighted glory. And smiled as it whispered to me, “Scott, I am the Portland Storage Company. And now you know where you are. You are safe.” It is also told me to go back inside the bar and continue drinking, which I thought was pretty cool too.

So today, as I passed that horrid sellout of a painter, I couldn’t help but remember this special night and contemplate a future without this audacious icon in our lives. Oh Portland Storage Company sign, I weep for thee.

z hard at work

2010-08-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

Let There Be Acai

2010-08-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

And on the third day, Matthew gave us delicious bowls of Açaí.

Today marks the third day of Sambazon's official launch of the Warrior Up Campaign and we're thrilled. To celebrate our homie Matthew dropped by to make us some Sambazon bowls.
Inside those bowls are all of the essential fatty acids, antioxidants and healthful nutrients your body could ask for. And man is this stuff delicious. I'm not just saying that either, peep the picture below and look at the fruits of our labour.

Now tell me you haven't started drooling all over your keyboard. And while you scrub the saliva from your keys, head over to facebook and Warrior Up.

Hello World

2010-07-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

You may recall earlier this week when Mutt had a mini-celebration for our main mang Mr. Webb and the whole Mutt team after the Pac Ten logo became official. Today we celebrate again, as our little rebrand hits new-stands and splashes the internetz (and even Steve's iPhone) in the New York Times and Sports Illustrated. Not to mention, the Pac Ten website is less than fifteen minutes away from launching. (UPDATE: IT JUST LAUNCHED, CHECK THE TWELVE PAGES OF OUR LOGO) The anticipation is killing me.

It should be clarified that Steve has never been to Michigan, let alone studied there, and it was in fact Mr. Cromer S.I. was speaking of.

It's always fun to look at the progression of a mark, from initial concepts to final product, so why don't I walk you through the journey that was Pac Ten...

So once upon a time, the Pacific Ten Conference came to Mutt with a question, "Can you make us a new logo?" And Mutt said yes, I think we have just the ticket. Pulling from a collective 80+ years in sports we set out to make the ultimate sports logo.

Sketches became vectors.

Shields became significant.

And the new Pac Ten was born. We're thrilled to have been able to work on this project and we can't wait to show you all the Pac Twelve logo...

Intern ≠ Parakeet

2010-07-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

When I was nine, I decided I wanted a goat. Needed a goat. I bought books, researched different breeds, visited local farms, and even offered to knit little goat booties to keep its hooves from scuffing the floors.

So my parents bought me a parakeet.

And as you might suspect from a kid who spent her summers threatening to knit shoes for livestock, the idea of a friend in a cage appealed to me. Unfortunately for both of us though, my face was huge and horrifying. It was pink and featherless and smelled of sack lunch. My parakeet sunk into a deep depression.

Enter: the concept of reflections as friends. I'd read somewhere that parakeets were happiest with other birds, but if you didn't feel like shelling out the $19.99 for another bird, you could just hang a mirror in the cage. So I hung a mirror in the cage. And she fell for it. She'd spend all day whispering to it, trying to feed it seeds, and preening its cold, metallic feathers without even a hint of suspicion.

But she was also a parakeet. Her brain was a good 200 times smaller than the average intern's, which is to say: You aren't fooling anyone.

New intern, my ass. I know my own reflection when I see it.

GO TEAM!

2010-07-23T10:28:00.001-07:00

Congratulations Mutt on a job well done. He might not look like much but that young lad with the cap on his head is 386 lbs of pure design muscle. It took David, Steve and Scott every ounce of strength they had but they carried him on their shoulders for at least seven seconds. Moments after this photo was taken Steve collapsed to the ground and Scott had to perform mouth to mouth. Everything is now ok and Steve is resting comfortably on an island somewhere. Scott doesn't want to talk about it. Anyhow, good job Damien. Great LOGO.

THE Z'ELLOW Z'ERSEY.

2010-07-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Our fury, bespectacled David Z'avertnik just completed a grueling bike race from Seattle to Portland.

The mere thought of this race makes my lower back tighten...I can barely finish the drive from Portland to Seattle, let alone bang out 100 plus miles in 36 hours.

Just consider my last road trip to Seattle:

Fatigue set in around mile 30, followed shortly by lower back stiffness and nausea, culminating in general anxiety and, finally, a moderate to severe panic attack outside of Tacoma.

By the time I finally hit Safeco Field, tears were welling my eyes.

Now cut to Z out there on some god forsaken state highway, sans a combustible engine and the snappy, distracting beats of Phil Collins, slurping protein goo and trading paint with hairless, doped up Lance Armstrong wannabees. One can only imagine the physical pain that Z suffered, as well as the mental anguish and white hot hatred he must have felt for those poser wannabees.

All I can say is, "Z is we. And we are Z.”

Summertime

2010-07-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

It’s July and along with the wave of heat, mosquitos and personal fans filling Mutt HQ, we’ve been seeing a lot of books from some lovely hopeful interns. Today I had the opportunity to sit down with our first-round draft pick, Darcie Burrell, writer, poet and all around girl.

Z: Hey Darcie! Welcome to the den. Now, this isn’t our first encounter is it? We’ve got what you might call a bit of a history. I graduated from the Ad Program at UO last year, you graduated from that same program this past June. We had the same classes and we even produced a little gem together. How’d you like the program?

Darcie: I loved it. The ad program there was like one big, hilariously dysfunctional, incestuous family. And we had a cool mom.

Z: Already, I’m impressed with your ability to speak in hyper-links. Well done! That’s a cute little whatever it is in your arms….What is it?

Darcie: I don't know. I think she's the guardian of the Girls' Corner. She has no hands.

Z: So where’d you come from?

Darcie: Las Vegas.

Z: What's the coolest place in Vegas?

Darcie: Cesar E. Chavez park. It's actually a really poorly designed park behind a middle school I didn't go to, but it has a great view of the city. And swings.

Z: You’ve lived in Portland for about two weeks now, what’s your favorite space here?

Darcie: I haven't been here long enough to give you a real answer to that, but I love Peninsula Park. It sounds like all I do is go to parks. Maybe I'm just trying to prove I go outside sometimes.

Z: Point established. And may I add, how very Oregon of you. Now that you’re a Mutt I’d like to know what type of Mutt you imagine yourself as.

Darcie: A great dihuahua.

Z: Is it like a Liger/Tion where it matters which one is male and which is female?

Darcie: I have no idea.

Z: Oh…..

Darcie: ….

Z: What’s your favorite color?

Darcie: I'm glad you asked. I've recently retired green, so I'm excited to say purple. PURPLE!!!!!!!!!!

Z: What's something you've never told anyone?

Darcie: "David is right."

Z: Speaking of bitches…As you may have heard, Mona isn’t keen on having other canine visitors in the office, will that affect your pet situation at all?

Darcie: But Mona is so friendly! And no, we should be just fine. I have a fish and it lives in a bowl on a shelf in my bedroom. It doesn’t get out much.

Z: What’s your fish’s name?

Darcie: David...

Z: …Darcie?

Darcie: It’s name is David. And I tell every David I meet that I named my fish after him. By the way – I named my fish after you.

Z: That’s a first. How do you feel about Millennials?

Darcie: I feel like we like parks.

Now we’ve come to the guest speed questionnaire portion of the interview--

Raphie: What is the average velocity of a sparrow?

Darcie: About as fast as I drive on the freeway – 25 mph.

Beauvais: what is your fondest memory growing up?

Darcie: Hosting a Barbie-Q in third grade. All my friends came and we melted our dolls on my dad's grill. Then we swam.

Scott: which animal would you most want to spend time with AND eat?

Darcie: Is this a personal attack because I eat fish now? Because the answer is people, Scott. It's people.

Nick: why does she think the weather gods hate portland so much?

Darcie: Most strip clubs and micro breweries per capita? You tell me.

And finally! Pop Quiz: What are the partners names and what is each of their favorite color and food?

Darcie:

Scott Cromer - Red, gelato

Steve Luker - Blue, holiday candy bars
Mike McCommon - Green, acai berries

Z: Aced. Thanks Darcie. Glad to have you!

God Bless America.

2010-07-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

Sunday night was interesting.

A peripheral friend invited me to his home for the Fourth and, short on plans and sausages, I agreed to attend for thirty or forty minutes.

Things were uneventful at first—a little chatter about single-malt Scotch followed by a game of badminton. You know, real patriotic stuff.

I played along but was a bit peeved by the lack of organization. Where were the miniature flags? Where was the singing of God Bless America? And why was there no Corn Hole?

Something you should know is that the host is renowned in these parts for his record collection and assortment of nautical turtlenecks. Imagine Captain Ahab clutching a latte and leafing through Graham Parsons albums on Hawthorne…that is my friend.

I tell you this because, upon realizing his party was sinking like the Pequod, my friend did what any hipster sailor would do—he pulled out a box of fireworks, dusted off a pint of whiskey and set about torching the neighborhood.

Many of the partygoers were dumbfounded. But I’ve grown accustomed to my friend’s desperate, whiskey-fueled tantrums so I gathered a few sparklers and tried to celebrate the way our founding fathers once did—with joy, cheer and merriment.

This did not last long however. Having depleted his stock of fireworks and good will, my friend snapped the sparklers from my hand and waved them wildly before my face; through the haze I could see him smirking and chortling like a drunken English sailor. It made my blood boil.

Badly burned and without sight I summoned my inner patriot, grabbed hold of my friend’s turtleneck and dropped him on the hard concrete, holding tight to his hipster boot as he tried to slither away.

What followed was captured on film but disposed of immediately. Let’s just say that peace and order were restored. And that King Matt learned an important lesson—to never ever tread on an American.

America + Mutt = Winners

2010-07-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

I realize there’s a lot going on in this picture. And that it’s quite ugly. If Luker saw this picture his teeth would fall out. But Luker’s not here right now....I am. And I want to talk about America.

As some of you know, America has been around a lot longer than Mutt. It’s seen several wars, made mad money and basically dominated the world.

On the other hand, Mutt has yet to fight a war, is still trying to figure out how to make money and, well, the last point goes without saying.

Curiously, this is pretty much where the differences end.

Allow me to explain.

If this were a court of law, I would submit to you (the jury) our business plan from 2008, which strangely resembles the document Tommy Jefferson penned thousands of years ago. I say strange because I’ve never read the Declaration of Independence (except when I worked on Mello Yello) nor have I ever written anything that sounds like an 18th century dandy.

But the proof is irrefutable. Our document, which was originally penned in PowerPoint, looks, sounds and reads like a latter day Declaration of Independence. And the layout is ten times cooler (thanks Nick).

Something else to consider: even though we’re only 18 months old our company has unwittingly written, followed and broken virtually every Amendment to the Constitution.

Perhaps the most stunning parallel is the 18th Amendment. Like America, we once banned the manufacture, sale and transportation of intoxicating liquors. And like the 21st Amendment, we repealed that rule immediately and now openly mock it and the legislator (Steve) who wrote it.

So on this Fourth, when you’re jamming hot dogs and corncobs down your throat, please stop for a moment and consider the awesomeness that is America. And if you’ve had a few cocktails, maybe think a few seconds about the bizarre and seemingly inexplicable parallels I’ve just illustrated here.

Hey La Nina, You're Stupid.

2010-06-30T23:01:00.000-07:00

Anyone who lives in and around Portland is probably beginning to wonder if summer will ever come to these parts. The answer is "no". And here's why:

This is something I learned while watching The Weather Channel at my local, so bear with me. It was almost impossible to hear the meteorologist. But between the occasional audible sound bite and my whiskey soaked imagination I was able to piece together the following assessment, which is 85% true:

The crap weather we're experiencing in the Greater Portland area is a direct result of La Nina, the self-absorbed and promiscuous sister of El Nino (I'm not making this up...except for the promiscuous part...but you never know).

In spite of a recent run of warm, sunny days (which is all a trick), I have reason to believe that La Nina has no plans of leaving these parts, even though her brother El Nino is still kicking it in the Gulf (in spite of what BP did to his crib). Which means that nosotros are gonna be seeing mucho of La Nina.

While I can't predict the future, I do know a couple things to be certain:

(1) La Nina is not going anywhere.
(2) La Nina is passive aggressive and dumb.
(3) La Nina might be adopted.
(4) The corned beef sandwich I had yesterday was delicious.

One more thing I know is that La Nina's on-again, off-again current needs to make up its god damn mind. Honestly, if I need to rock a sweater in July I'm cool with that (anyone who's seen my deep, bountiful wardrobe will understand why). But this tempestuous game La Nina keeps playing makes me want to:

(1) Vomit
(2) Play Yahtzee
(3) Vacuum
(4) Shave Z's head.

Right now I'm getting worked up and need to settle down. It's 35 degrees at the moment and I can't afford to lose any more body heat. So until tomorrow....

CIAO FOR NOW.

Remember This Guy?

2010-06-26T18:03:00.000-07:00

That's Kofi and he just beat me 2-1. Well, his country (Ghana) beat mine (U-S-A!). And of course Kofi is pimping around South Africa right now running his mouth and sending angry, threatening texts (not sure what I did to piss him off).

I'm trying to act mature and say all the right things. But it's boring, and really what I want to do right now is dive on Kofi's posterior cruciate ligament and get red carded for the night.

Since that's not an option let's try this....hey Kofi, I challenge you to a one-on-one match in Ghana, on your pitch, with your ball. And yes, you can invite all 750 members of your family for support (so long as they blow those vuvuzelas... I like that shit).

I know what some of you soccer snobs are thinking.

Soccer isn't basketball!! You can't play one-on-one!!

Who will play goalie?
What about corner kicks?
Oh what a silly idea..THAT'S not real soccer.

Sorry Bebito. I can't hear you.

I'm too busy thinking about flying halfway round the world and going shin-to-shin with a 250 pound bull, in front of hostile aunts and wild tigers and shit.

Okay Koki....the jabulani is on your pitch.

What you got?

Mona

2010-06-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

A little back story on the principle namesake of Mutt Industries- Mona. She may, every now and again, and really only occasionally, be a bit territorial. Thus you don't hear more about our visits from Monsieur De Raphael. It's simple, she's the dominant canine in the den, and we're all well aware of her position. Right, and she loves bones.

See where this is going? Today's Heros and recent Mutt favorites D-Webb and Beauvais stopped by the local grocer this morning to grab the office some delicious breakfast foods and happened to notice the butcher had a feast of scrap bones for dogs to enjoy. Naturally the two, eager to please her Highness, picked her up a chunk. While doing so they noticed a sign surrounded by heaps of dog photos that spoke of a free bone with photographic proof of a previous purchase. The two relayed this message upon arrival back at Mutt HQ and Mike began snapping photos.

I decided it was time I beefed up my AD portfolio and started telling Mona what to do. Sit. Try this. Rollover. Pretty simple stuff, but she wasn't impressed. Instead she ignored me and remained focused on her bone (see picture above). I thought we get "cuter" with it so I went in to move her and set her up right and hazah, she removes her three short lines of ancestry and becomes straight up wolf.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Mutt ♥ Sports

2010-06-10T23:52:00.000-07:00

Mark this bad boy as the second post to include a heart in it's title. Now don't think we've gotten soft, although I'm pretty sure I did see McCommon on a sewing machine about five minutes ago.

Who's excited for the world cup to start? We sure are. I had the chance to stop by D-mon's pad the other day and I noticed he's already piled every one of his forty-five England shirts together in anticipation. Mark tomorrow as day one of English Webb.

Moulé + Mutt = ♥

2010-06-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

one our favorite projects in the studio is when we are asked to update the windows for Moulé. This spring we decided to celebrate our partnership by designing a family of very fashionable mutts for the occasion. The windows will be up in the Portland, Vancouver(BC) and Winnipeg stores until the end of June.

mascot monday.

2010-06-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

Today at the office, we have a very special guest. His name is Bernard-Jacques De Raphael.

Bernard arrived early this morning with big ideas for some pitch-work and set about the day dreaming up, if I dare say, very clever stuff. Bernard, who can boast years of creative experience, has a certain gift for dissecting work down to its bare essentials, a process he defines as "creative demolition." As part of a creative exercise, De Raphael led a workshop in which he asked the Mutt team to pinpoint the exact moment at which we develop a creative idea. During this split second when an idea is born, the rest of the team were instructed to quickly jump up and shout complete gibberish into the idea-conjurer's ears until he had forgotten the idea altogether. By doing this, Bernard says, we can avoid nearly 95% of all bad ideas.

"By extinguishing the spark before it catches a fire, we can avoid burning down the entire building," says De Raphael confidently from a perch on Megan's desk.

From all of us at Mutt Industries (well, at least those who aren't away on a high-priority international client meeting) it has been an honor having you stop by today Bernard-Jacques.

Goodbye.

2010-06-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

I've made a huge mistake.

You might remember a certain coveted piece of eyewear I creatively repaired in December... Regrettably, I mourn their loss today.

And I don't even have a good story for this one.

I went to lovely George, Washington this weekend to take a part in the Millennial movement also known as Sasquatch 2010. It was a life-changing experience, which deserves an entire post unto itself, and to which I will give an entire post some time later.

But for now, let's focus on my glasses. I am in-the-know of a few Money-Spot(s) for storing glasses in a tent. They can be found inside the circles illustrated below:

Fear not the vision-crushing midnight readjustment, for your glasses are now safe. However, a recently overlooked error of such genius was the need to remove said glasses from their hiding place pre-tent tear-down. If I must admit to a single flaw, it might be the occasional fault in memory. I may have, this weekend, forgotten my glasses in de campana mi amigos only to have them perform the ritualistic tent shake-out-unwanted-pieces-of-earth-and-occasional-valuable-objects-into-the-big-field-filled-with-tall grass dance. My apologies dear Opticons. And more immediately, thank you Mutt for the insurance to cover my new Hyptoptics.

Signal Snowboards

2010-05-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

Hey friends, I've got some more stellar news. We've got another new project in the works, this one is for our new best friends, Signal Snowboards. A special thanks to our long-time friend Sean Donnell for the introduction and creative help.

But wait Z, who is Signal? I'm really glad you asked. So back in 2004 snowboard legend Dave Lee decided it was time to bring snowboarding back to its roots- something pure and special. In his eyes snowboarding doesn't have to be everything for everybody. And thus began the life of this small california-based boutique-style shop.

Something we're especially proud of is Dave and Signals dedication to the sport. They've built an incredibly strong community of like-minded riders under the umbrella idea of, "Do what you love and the rest will follow."

Preach! And Signal hand-crafts their boards in sunny California and that makes them one of only a handful of companies still producing American-made products. How cool.

Plus their boards are revered in the snowboarding community. Take their omni technology, for example. It merges the classic camber style (sort of a w shape, raised edges, contact points at your feet with a bit of lift in between them) and rocker style (basically a wide u, with minimal contact in the center) to make a stellar new ride for snowboarders. Checkity, check it out.

Acapulco!

2010-05-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

You might have heard about my main mang Steve Luker's main squeeze, Mexico (second to Miss Rachel). See, Steve love's Mexico, he loves taking extended vacations to it, he loves basking in the sun on its warm beaches, he loves surfing its perfect swells and he loves sipping on its world-famous Tequilla. He also appears to be incredibly inspired by its beauty and aesthetic.

About a year and a half ago Steve took one of his infamous trips to Mexico, Acapulco to get specific, and got an idea. "I think I want to make a typeface!" he exclaimed, eyes darting from hand-painted sign to hand-painted sign. But what kind of typeface would it be? Should it be a beautiful serif or a gorgeous sans-serif? Should it be a display face or would publishers use it when printed books and periodicals? Then he saw it, carved from massive slabs of concrete were the words, "Acapulco Centro Deportivo."

See, it's majestic. After a few weeks of enjoying time with the two loves of his life, Steve was back to work at Mutt, tan and motivated. Shortly thereafter Luker became acquainted with a young man by the name of Nick Olmstead, a local hand-letterer, artist and velo-enthusiast. Jazzed on the idea of creating a beautiful font the two began work. But keep in mind, creating a typeface isn't an easy task, it takes a lot of time, a lot of work and a lot of patience. The two had to decide how Acapulco joints look. What's the tail on a Q shape up to be? After revision upon revision Olmstead settled upon a set of sketches that would become the skeleton to Acapulco.

The next, and possible the most heavy-handed step was vectorizing the inked type and perfecting everything about the type, ensuring perfect connections between stem and spur, the ideal x-height and so forth. Cut to Olmstead twacking out in illustrator for several months and cue Mutt winning a few more clients, winter taking its toll on the pack, and fun side-projects falling to the back of everyone's mind.

But that's wack, nah what I'm sayin' mang? Side-projects are important, they keep you alive and fresh as a creative and Acapulco needed to be finished. And that's also the point at which we learned our boy Olmstead was planning a move to the Big Apple. With a single month to finish the type Acapulco got the attention it deserved and finally became fully-digitized. It may have been the day before his planned departure, if not the day when Nick had the unveiling. Now it's time to share it with you. Feast your eyes friends!

The future of Acapulco is still undecided, but we'll keep you posted. Either way, we're going to make this thing huge.

Ms. Raphael

2010-05-26T13:47:00.000-07:00

Oh man, it's been a while. Sorry beloved followers, admirers of Mutt, I've let you down. But I promise to make it up to you. For instance, would you all like to hear some fantastic news?

Of course you do. Mutt would like your help in welcoming Ms. Megan Raphael to the agency. Megan recently left Nemo Design to join us as an Account Director, sharing the load with Beauvais. Welcome Megan! We got a bit of a head-start on the welcome when Ms. Raphael joined Luker and McCommon in Chicago for a client meeting. Megan aced it and they celebrated with some of the local fauna...Go Cubs.

But who is Megan Raphael? I sat down with her to have a little welcome chat. It went something like this:

Z: You know, I have a sister named Megan.

M: And I have a dad named David...

Z: Too weird...And your last name is the name of a Ninja Turtle. And I like turtles, especially the ninja kind. But - and this is nothing against you because I love you - Raphael wasn't the best. Donatello is my homeboy. How do you feel about Raph?

M: ....sigh....

Z: So you've never heard that one before...Anyway, where do you hail from?

M: Boulder, Colorado.

Z: Now that you work at Mutt you realize you need a dog, right?

M: I already have one, Bernard-Jacques, or Bernie for short. He's the world's smartest dog. He understands two languages, French and English.

Z: Man, I wish I knew French. So do you think his favorite color is Red or Blue?

M: Aren't dogs colored blind?

Z: I bet he has a favorite shade...Hey Megan, what's your biggest pet peeve?

M: When people fail to use the two most important words in language: please and thank you.

Z: Classic. I bet your parents are proud, what'd you want to be when you grow up/when you grow up?

M: Before I got into this, I'd have said doctor like my parents, but now I'd love to be a mom.

Z: This is going on the blog, I'm sure you'll get some responses. So how do you introduce yourself to new people?

M: With a smile and a firm handshake.

Z: What's your favorite place in Portland?

M: My friend Jess' living room.

Z: And if you could meet any celebrity, who would it be?

M: Prince, and the revolution, of course.

Z: Of course. Now can you imagine if you met him in Jess' living room?

M: Oh. Man. Fabulous. But she has a nice couch...Maybe if we made sure he took his shoes off it'd be okay.

Z: ZING!!!! Charlie Murphy!!! Speaking of ridiculous, if you could choose only one: the ability to fly one day a month, the ability to control the weather one day a week, or the ability to see through clothing, what would you choose?

M: Hahaha. It'd be fun to see through clothing, but I'm going to have to go with flying for sure. Especially if I had the speed of a Concorde.

Z: You're probably right, but seeing through clothes would be pretty incredible. On that note, Who is your all-time hero?

M: My grandma, Maxine.

Z: Good transition. So you've met Luker and Cromer. Who'd win in a fight, in your unbiased opinion.

M: Based on a few emails I've seen, Scott Cromer.

Z: Last thought, what always makes you smile?

M: Letters from Rwanda.

Z: Perfect. Thank you Megan, it's been a pleasure. We're glad to have you.

M: Fun times, thanks!

We Call Him Ricoh Suave

2010-02-22T15:05:00.000-08:00

Big news here at Mutt, everyone, our beloved Canon MX700, once referred to as Peaches in this blog post for stronger character recognition, and the work horse of Mutt Headquarters for our first year of operation has finally been replaced. It's not that we don't love peaches, it's just that she couldn't handle the amount of pressure we were putting on her. We have a lot of printing needs these days, so it was time for an upgrade. And upgrade we did. Now we've got Suave, a genuine work horse straight from Japan. Suave, also known as the RICOH Aficio® SP C820 DN, was delivered to us by our new best printer buddies, Bobby and Chris.

Here we see Chris, Suave & Bobby saying their goodbyes.

So long Peaches, you'll be missed.

Steve-

2010-02-05T00:32:00.000-08:00

A Haiku

It was a long night,

Steve, busy drawing logos.

You have no chance, boy.

Sorry Friends

2010-01-29T11:13:00.000-08:00

It's Friday, but you haven't even heard about our week! So ein mist! Well, I'm here to correct that for you. We've had quite a January Finale here at 215 SE Morrison Suite #2004 (please address all baked good to Mr. David Zavertnik).

The highlights go something like this -->

Monday was apparently very forgettable.

Tuesday was Cromer's Geburtstag. (Why so much Deustch, you ask? It must be the Lagunitas Pilsner speaking through me, and seeing as I don't know a lick of Czech, the closest thing I've come to is German.) Yes yes, it was Cromer's forty-first birthday and if you haven't wished him well, you ought to. So here's to Cromer and his long-lasting health- thank you Yoga...

On Wednesday, the Mac-attack dropped the iPad and we here in the studio giggled for about half of the day. I personally would have loved to have been in the creative presentation for that one. "See, it's a tablet but we've got a cooler name than iTablet. Introducing the iPad." And everyone clapped and pocketed millions of dollars. We'd like to jump on that wagon. Introducing the iPad Trousers....

Although it took the pilot two attempts at a landing, Thursday took one-half of the Mutt party south to the birthplace of the hyphy movement, Oakland, California. Represent. Unfortunately the Pac-Ten tour omitted some of the finer cultural events... All is well though, I hear they had a few hours to kill before they left so I'm willing to bet Webb showed them the streets. In fact, I think we might see a reincarnation of To and Afro in the near future!

But the highest highlight of the week, save Cromer's birthday festivities, has to be today's visit from our Sambazon friend, Jeremy, who not only brought his smiling Southern California grin, but a grip of purple power in a bottle. Just look at us now- Mutt has never been so healthy...

Have a good weekend, friends, family and loved ones. Until next time, this is Captain Z, signing off.

Mudd Industries, Take Seven

2010-01-25T15:57:00.000-08:00

Mutt had quite an adventure this weekend. While you were cuddled up under your warm Pendelton watching the future of football unfold before your eyes**, a few busloads of dedicated Portland Creatives worked all Sunday in the pouring rain. It's important to note that while you may not have been looking outside your windows, that rain did not let up for a minute all afternoon.

**sidenote: Damien has guaranteed me that the Saints will be winning the Super Bowl this year. He says he traveled in time to find out. Place your bets now.

This was my first official shoot as a Mutt and as a human being and it was incredible. I'm told it was maybe one of the worst situations I'll ever experience in the world of advertising but I cannot begin to image how the good ones turn out. The amount of dedication shown, both on the side of our talented staff and mother nature, was staggering. Everyone absolutely killed it.

Not only are we in a lake of mud, we're also getting drilled by freezing cold buckets of water.

And there's our fearless client, Lee Gargis, Veteran Coke Executive and overall badass. Nick is stoked to have stood next to him.

Mutt Delivers

2010-01-23T12:58:00.000-08:00

As a startup agency, we here at Mutt have some interesting opportunities available to us, specifically, we can be whatever we want to be. We tell people we are a full service agency but sometimes I'm not sure they understand what i mean by "full-service." You see the employees of Mutt Industries have wide-spreading passions that lead us to pursue some non-traditional ventures. Take for example Mutt Daycare™. Rumors say it'll be opening doors mid-June. Or the nearly platinum-hit success story of To and Afro. Rest in peace. And who could forget the Mutt Dance Academy™ chock full of imported professors of dance?

Well, ladies and gentlemen, Mutt has a new secret weapon, and its faster than the internet. Well, almost, but once we get the paperwork through the patent office, our Mutt Rocket Boots™ will definitely will be lightning quick. Prepare to feast your eyes on the wave of the future.

Horribly Fantastic

2010-01-22T12:42:00.000-08:00

Inspiration comes from everywhere. Take this now defunct production studio from New York called Dolphin Graphics. I absolutely love this stuff...

2010-01-20T17:35:00.000-08:00

It is important that you double click the photo just above this text. Make it large and view it as it was meant to be seen.

Today at Mutt we learned the art of the three-way video chat. You see, before today David Beauvais, Damien Webb and myself have had a difficult time discussing projects whilst sitting at our computers. We'd have to turn, move screens to the side and talk loudly to one another. Now though, we've got video chat. Hello Mutt Productivity, welcome to the year 2010...

Uncle Z

2010-01-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have some very exciting news. In a little more than four months my oldest brother and his wife are expecting their first child. This will make me an uncle for the first time in my life.

The best part - A few days ago I met up with my brother for drinks at Por Que No and he dropped the news. When he told me, he explained what the experience was like at the clinic:

"So the baby is curled up in Rachel's stomach with one arm behind his head like he's posing for the ultrasound. The doctor moves the ultrasound around to show us our boy and as he passes major body parts he makes an announcement, 'and here's your baby's heart!'
But dude, our baby is going to be a ladies man, because nearly every time the doctor passed our baby he'd say, "...and there's the penis again." I guess most babies are hard to distinguish at such an early age, but our little guy was just BAM!"
Giggle, giggle....Guess who's going to be the raddest uncle in the world? I am because I am going to teach my nephew the ways of the lady man. And thanks to the boys here at Mutt my skill set has just about septupled.

The worst part - I lost the 2010 Zavertnik Baby Bet. There goes world-record winning streak of 22 years undefeated.

Congratulations big brother!

Strength To Love

2010-01-18T09:58:00.000-08:00

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."

This is a man I would have liked to have met.

To and Afro

2010-01-13T17:34:00.001-08:00

Mutt started a seventies afro-electro-beat sensation today. The duo, shown above, began recording this morning around eleven, completed half a track and then quickly disbanded citing "artistic differences." It seems some things aren't meant to be.

R.I.P.
To and Afro
1.13.10-1.13.10

Happy New Week

2010-01-11T10:06:00.000-08:00

Monday's are always off. I'll wake up, tired, unmotivated and fully ready to continue into a third day of relaxation. The second alarm sounds and I begin to rationalize a reason for staying put under the covers and sheltered from the cold air that accumulated in my room overnight. I'm good at rationalizing and generally succeed, until the third alarm. By then, though, it's embarrassing realizing it takes me three separate alarms to be a responsible adult and I drag my half-asleep body to the kitchen for some breakfast.

Woe is me.

But today, this Monday of all Mondays, I woke up entirely independent of an alarm clock. It must have had something to do with going to bed at a fairly reasonable time and a recent bout of exercise- who'd have guessed. So I went in to work and wouldn't you know it, our long lost (and bronzed) Luker was there to greet me. Yes dear followers, Mutt is back to full capacity friends, we even had Mona back in the office today. The seven of us inside our luxurious second floor studio working away on a long list chock-full of our beloved clients and their creative needs. This is going to be a good week.

The End Of An Era

2010-01-08T14:57:00.000-08:00

Wowzer, it's been a trip ladies and gentlemen. If I were to be honest, I'd say it's been too short, but that just means it'll have to continue in the future. For now though, I'd like to close a chapter on the Fabian Chronicles.
When I met Fabian four months ago, I had no idea what I was getting into. This man is a genius, I recommend each and every one of you listen to everything he has to say and soak it in.

MUTT: Who is your favorite dictator?

Fabian: Josip Broz Tito, the Yugoslav statesman and revolutionary. He's kind of a weird hero in international relations circles. Even though he was a communist, he eventually formed the non-alignment party. He said, “let’s not play” in terms of the whole aligned parties (Warsaw pact and Nato) and instead kicked it with the South Pacific islands and such. He also got all the people of Yugoslavia together; in a time and place where there was a lot of national angst among Eastern European peoples he managed to keep everyone in Yugoslavia relatively happy and content.

As an aside, the dictator I disliked the most Pol Pot. He started the Khymer Rouge in Cambodia and tried to go to year zero. He basically just killed everyone, Cambodian killing fields, you may have heard of it.

Editors Note: At this point in the conversation we got a bit side-tracked, I forget why or how, but my notes tell me this. Today I learned a word, "Wet." I'd never heard it used in the way Fabian had, so excuse me if you're ahead of me on this one. But to those who weren't born on the street, Wet means to get your hands bloody. Education is Power, as they say....And back to it!

MUTT: What would you like to be remembered for?

Fabian: A character and a stand-up guy. You know, a solid guy. Reliable, thoughtful and so forth. But also, a character. That’s part of my shtick. I like to be entertained, so I like to be entertaining as well. What’s more important than having a good time and being true to yourself.

MUTT: I like it. Alright Fabian, one last question. Would you rather have wisdom or wealth?

Fabian: I'll end it with a quote from our good friend Sophocles in his Athenian tragedy, "Oedipus Rex." He said, "Alas, how terrible is wisdom when it brings no profit to the man that's wise!"

Mutt: Preach. Thanks again Fabian.

Fabian: You're welcome my man.

So there it is folks. Tune in next time to hear more from the world of the John Deere factory on SE Morrison.

Here's To Our Health

2010-01-06T16:13:00.001-08:00

That, my friends, is a grip of glorious fruit called the Açaí (pronounced ah-sigh-ee, unlike how you just said it in your head) berry. And each of those beautiful purple nuggets is chock-full of anti-oxidants, healthy (monounsaturated) fats, fiber, amino acids, vitamins and heaps more.

Since when did I become a nutritional expert? Not important, because this is not a healthy soap-box. This is me teasing an introduction to a healthy product that we, Mutt Industries of Portland, Oregon, have just begun an exciting and promising relationship with. That is to say, dearest listeners, that while you were prepping for the holidays we here at mutt were pitching the masters of açaí, Sambazon.

Without further adieu, I can now tell you the most exciting news of the year thus far.

We are the new Samabzon creative agency!

During the pitch I went on a little adventure around SE Portland for this purple power and found it just about everywhere (which means you probably can too), it's hella tasty. And I'm not just saying that- it's pure gold, nom nom. Cheers!

Because Zed Needs Me.

2010-01-05T16:44:00.001-08:00

There's been a lot of chirping about me dumping this critically acclaimed blog in favor of more serious, adult responsibilities. I realize transition can be difficult for some people. Especially for crusty jackasses like this who haven't a clue about the angst and sexual confusion many Millennials are experiencing today. As a wise yet sensitive Gen X'er, I can feel the hurt in Young Zed's voice when he ticks off the debilitating scars suffered from yet another vodka-soaked weekend of hapless hipsters, whiny music and midgets. It's my job to console the young people, especially when they're as impressionable as Young Zed. As for my haters, I suggest you buy a family-pack of Pop Tarts and zip it. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go apply lotion to my recently bronzed torso.

PS--What an absurdly precious, self-important FB picture. I mean, really?

Home Sweet Home

2009-12-21T21:17:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen I have some very exciting news for you all.

Today, December 21st 2009, was the final day of my daily commutes from Hillsboro.

Please, let's take a moment of silence and remember the good 'ole days and all the wonderful things Hillsboro had to offer. Like the Rice NW Museum of Rocks & Minerals or large number of retired peoples.

But good riddance, I say. No longer will I come to work angry about the aggressively passive aggressive drivers of Hillsboro and Beaverton commuters. Goodbye to the suburban lifestyle, hello city lifestyle. More specifically hello Oregon Theater- my new neighbor. I can't wait to get to know you.

Now all I need is some flannel and a cigarette...

Fabian Fridays (Part Tres)

2009-12-18T13:07:00.000-08:00

Well here we are again friends, another edition of the glorious Fabian chronicles. This is the third out of a projected four posts covering my interview with the man, the myth and the legend. So without further adieu, here it is.

MUTT: What is your favorite place in Portland?

Fabian: I really like the bridges and the riverfront, particularly around the steel bridge. I've found that river city people are always a lot nicer than ocean city people. Think about that old Credence song. People on the river are always happy to give. They're just friendlier. I think it's because rivers bring an interesting mix of people together. On top of that people are always coming and going, and I like that.

MUTT: Which Transformer is your favorite?

Fabian: So, my favorite Autobot was Optimus Prime. You know, he’s the cool archetypal hero- strong leader-type but not arrogant. Clearly he’s in power but he doesn’t abuse that power. He's a clear-headed thinker, not like Megatron is. Optimus Prime even had some humanity to him, he wasn’t invincible.

Then, my favorite Decepticon was Sound Wave. He was a dark character, but he was intellectual. From what I remember he had a very dry humor, but I could appreciate it. In fact, he was probably my favorite of all the transformers.

MUTT: Would you rather: Understand women’s thoughts, or breathe under water?

Fabian: Well, I used to teach scuba diving, so I have breathed under water. It’s a totally different world down there- I loved it. But that's the thing, they've got equipment for taking you underwater. Now, I think understanding women’s thoughts would be considerably more useful. To understand people’s thoughts, fears, aspirations would be exciting. I’d definitely take that.

The Amazing Dancing Damien

2009-12-16T14:33:00.000-08:00

Fabian Friday!

2009-12-11T14:15:00.000-08:00

Editor's Note:

Holy Moly, I've kept you all waiting for far too long. Time for another installment of Fabien Friday's! For taking so long I'm going to give you an extra dose of the interview. And worry not, from this day on I promise to have a little update for you every Friday morning.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mister Z

MUTT: Who is your greatest inspiration?

Fabian: When I was younger it was Alexander the Great. I was motivated by greed and avarice. Lately though, my greatest inspiration is Voltaire. He was a freethinker and highly revered. You have to respect his knowledge and the fact that he speaks his mind. Basically he says what he means and means what he says. I admire individuals who are up front and honest with themselves.

MUTT: If you could punch any one person in the face, dead or alive, who would you punch?

Fabian: Lavrentiy Pavlovich Beria.

MUTT: Wow, you didn't even hesitate there. Why him?

Fabian: He was Stalin's primary henchmen. Stalin killed something like 20 million people and the man who really did it, the muscles, was Berria. He was probably the most feared man of that time period. He did terrible, terrible things. So, I have to say, I'd love to have the opportunity to have punched him as hard as I could right in the nose. If all went well I'd have sent shards of bone into his brain and saved the world a lot of pain.

MUTT: What’s your dream car?

Fabian: I’ve got a couple I really like.

1959 El Dorado convertible, model 62. They’re all in museums now, or in movies. Honest to god, that was probably one of the most beautiful cars to roll out of Detroit.

Rolls Royce limousines from the 70s and 80s, mostly the 80s. They were subdued elegance. It’s not a loud Lamborghini, pretending to be something cooler than it actually is. It’s for someone who appreciates class and elegance. If I had someone who could drive as well as I do, I’d very much appreciate to ride around in one of those.

MUTT: Would you rather: Speak any language forever, or be able fly for an hour?

Fabian: Speak any language. I can rent an airplane. I can buy an airplane ticket. The ability to speak any language is the ability to traverse culture, customs, etc. That is a force to be reckoned with. A man like that would be well received. You'd be able to mitigate any barriers and come to terms like adults (and make a helluva lot of money).

TO BE CONTINUED...

OOPS!

2009-12-10T17:03:00.001-08:00

It looks like I'll be wearing my contacts a little more often these days....

The black tape is a bit deceiving, my glasses are in fact broken. This morning I may, or may not, have made an off-handed comment to Cromer about his inferior yoga skills and how I would likely destroy him in a pose-off. Naturally, this pushed the man's buttons and he went straight to the studio to start the competition.

Now, I'd like to point out that Cromer's been going to yoga for months, I haven't been since June.

So, tough guy began with an Ustrasana, to which I countered with the ever-popular Dhanurasana. Luker was impressed, he's still in his Simhasana days. Scott, feeling a little played, went for a sequence from Virabhadrasana I into Virabhadrasana II. I continued his play and added a Virabhadrasana III pose. My balance is unparalleled. For his last move Cromer went into a little Ardha Chandrasana. Good stuff. I knew if I wanted to clench the title of Yoga Master here at Mutt I'd have to go big. And that's when I curled up, took my knees to my elbows and whipped out a little Bakasana. And I had it too. I just forgot I was wearing my glasses and I forgot that sometimes you faceplant if you don't have your wits about you. Needless to say, I was a little hasty in my victory celebration and as I cheered I teetered a little and took a six inch dive into the concrete floor. And that's how I broke my glasses this morning.

Our Friends, Moulé

2009-12-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again, the Holiday Season, and our favorite Portland (and Winnipeg and Vancouver) fashion boutique Moulé is in the midst of their 2009 holiday campaign. This year's campaign is called, "Long Live Family" and what a lovely family story the Gorenstein's have to tell. If you hadn't heard, Moulé is family owned and if you pop in to one of the four Moulé locations you'll see some special Gorenstein themed gifts that highlight the aspects of being a part of a large family. Moulé has posted some of the work on their facebook page. We highly recommend you become their friends.

Here's a quick peek to get you in the holiday spirit.

Beauvais. In the Study. With the wrench.

2009-12-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

It's been frigid in Portland lately so I'm curled up by one of our four old school radiators. It keeps me nice and toasty. All day though I've been peering to my left and I see this classic gun range poster threatening me.Why does a businessman have a pistol? Why is he so calm when he's pointing it at me? And then Mr. Beauvais came at me with the phone. I was like whoa. Uncanny resemblance. See for yourself.

I Love My Ducks

2009-12-03T14:17:00.000-08:00

Today is a big day. My Alma Mater, The University of Oregon, is playing in this little football game tonight at 6 PM at Autzen. Civil War Baby! And not only will this win tonight give us another year of feeling far superior to Oregon State fans, but it will also send us to this year's Rose Bowl. That's some serious stakes being set, winner takes all and today at 2:22 PM, just under four hours until kickoff I am calling an Oregon victory. And if you've been checking ESPN lately you'd see that they agree with me.This makes me feel even better about it. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

National Mutt Day

2009-12-02T10:56:00.001-08:00

Do you know what today is? Yes that's right, it is National Mutt Day. We feel honored that the Animal Miracle Network would honor us with our very own day.

They're Taking Notice

2009-12-01T13:57:00.000-08:00

HEY!

Our Mello Yello win was just announced in Ad Week today.

COKE TAPS MUTT FOR MELLO YELLO

Very exciting.

But what is this? FAT415 obviously has some sort of beef with our own Mr. Luker, and isn't too supportive of Mutt. Look at this....

mashups.

2009-12-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

i was wondering how on earth they come up with these characters. that smirky little shit from verizon®, or that bizarrely attractive girl,'Flo' from the progressive® insurance ads. well i think i may have just cracked the formula of the Pre girl. take one part smug intellectual and equal part child-like moon-empress from a distant and dying world... insert current handheld communication device and voila.

Welcome Back!

2009-11-30T12:23:00.000-08:00

We hope everyone had a relaxing and delicious Thanksgiving weekend.

Here's a little peek into the work we've been doing. We give you, "Ugo Posters" made by Mutt for Paciugo. You should see the prints, they're gorgeous.

Clean Up On Aisle Your Team

2009-11-23T18:09:00.000-08:00

Mutt has received a face-lift. Today the partners and Mr. Beauvais were hard at work rearranging and organizing Mutt Headquarters. And may I say, It's like a whole new office. Kudos boys.
Onto something completely unrelated to the office. This weekend I hung out with some old friends. One night we headed over to McMenamin's Back Stage Bar and played pool and drank beer. By the time we started our second game I was feeling fairly confident in my game, not to mention my teammate had taken billiards in school. I bet a round on the following game. I thought we'd clean up and then HAZAH! we'd get a free pint of beer.

Cut to twenty minutes and a sad David Z later and you'll see that my buddies had pulled a fast one on me. They didn't tell me that they too were well versed in billiards and do, on occasion, win games when bets are on the table. And that's where today's title came from, miss Reardon uttered it as I walked to the bar to get her a beer- a free beer.

Good story, right?

New Mutt Business Cards

2009-11-20T17:18:00.000-08:00

It's official. We're official. With a new wave of mutts came a new wave of Mutt business cards. Here they are in all of their letterpressed glory...

Tomorrow We Have A Very Important Business Meeting

2009-11-19T10:31:00.000-08:00

Our fearless partners and Mr. Beauvais are at the Portland airport as I write this, about to take-off for dear old Atlanta and Coca-Cola headquarters. Tomorrow they meet with Mello Yello and present our latest work.

With that said, last night was a biggy, a lot of wonderful things happened.

Lessons Learned. Nick Cline is not this man.

The cue to show Steve work was three deep. It lasted something like two hours.

Apparently David rather enjoys the warmth of his pockets, even while sleeping.

What a wonderful thing mobile devices are these days for the amateur journalist.

Today is a Special Day

2009-11-18T09:48:00.000-08:00

Today, November the 18th, is Teresa Lynn Zavertnik's Birthday.

This amazing woman was the one to give birth to me.

Thanks Mom, Happy Birthday.

I'm So Tired.

2009-11-17T23:32:00.000-08:00

A little side story for you. Lately our man Grand Master D has being controlling Mutt Music. You see, we have some fancy little Bose speakers that are attached to our server so whoever is quickest gets to control the music for the day. So D-mon has been on top of it these days and he has a knack for picking songs that are eerily apropo. In fact, his current pick was the inspiration for today's title.

Anyway.

The big news here at Mutt is our latest creative venture. We've got a presentation for Mello Yello later this week and lately we've been absolutely killing it. But with this high level of creativity comes a sacrifice or two. Ours can be explained by the following images.

Big Brother Is Watching

2009-11-16T20:31:00.001-08:00

If you haven't yet deduced, I'm the youngest of the Mutts, unless of course you count the recent surge of babies being had around the office. And I suggest you do not, lest you want to insinuate we here at Mutt don't believe in labor laws. HAHAHA. I just made the entire office laugh.

Now, my point here is this. I'm young and like most anyone who is older than someone else, the boys here are keen to give me big brotherly advice. Or tease me like the younger brothers they likely did not have. Needless to say, life here is an experience.

Tonight Big Brother Nick gave me a little reminder of his cultural positioning.

The post it is an eye. It represents Nicky vonNickington's every-watching eye. The stuffed Owlgiraffe next to it reads faster, as in "your current pace is unsatisfactory, you need to work faster."

Thanks boys.

Fabian's Story

2009-11-15T13:35:00.000-08:00

Mutt Industries World Headquarters is home to an interesting and eclectic group of small businesses, artists and storage units, all of whom are worth getting to know. They've all got stories and histories that have already dropped

This is Fabian Gordon.

Fabian owns and operates North West Imports and Liquidation. I sat down with him shortly after his birthday (September 30th) and asked him a series of random questions in an effort to learn a thing or two.

MUTT: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal growing up?

FG: Yeah, I had a lot of them. My father was a carnie when he was young. He left home when at 16 and went to work at a carnival. He worked his way up and owned the midway games, [Midway games are most of the games you imagine when you think of the carnival. Ring Toss, Test Your Strength and so on. They’re the ones that give you stuffed animals with a high enough score.] He also designed some toys for his games. So there were a lot around when I was a kid. My favorite was a penguin, and I took it with me in the bath, obviously I was too young to understand the plush toy conundrum. Needless to say the penguin didn’t last the experience….”

MUTT: Speaking of your dad, I hear he's kind of a big deal. What's his story?

FG: My father (Terry Gordon) is famous for being an innovator in adult entertainment. In his heyday he was known as the King of Tease in Las Vegas. He invented the Champagne Room.

The story behind it was this: Terry Gordon was vilified in Las Vegas to the point where he wasn’t allowed to possess a license for anything “privileged” like alcohol. So he got a deal with a supplier in Australia that produced non-alcoholic champagne and imported a grip of it. Then he’d wash the labels off and replace them with expensive champagne labels, or knock-off’s of expensive champagne labels. They’d sell it at expensive champagne prices and no one knew.

But there was no sex in the Champagne Room.

Oh and his brother was Jack Gordon who was married for a while to Latoya Jackson. So, Jack was married Latoya who is Michael Jackson’s sister. And Michael was married to Lisa Marie Pressley, so I was, for a stint, related to Elvis Presley...

To keep this interesting for everyone we're going to end there today. Check back soon for more from the Fabian Chronicles.

Take That Mrs. Peller's Homeroom

2009-11-11T09:54:00.000-08:00

The boys have a library of books here at Mutt and it's a goal of mine to read them all. Yesterday I took a gander at two of Paul Arden's books (1)(2). I preferred the latter of the two, but the first had this gem:

Mutt knows this. I was told from day one here not to be precious about my ideas. But it wasn't always this way.

If you're quick witted you've deduced that this story is about Mrs. Peller's homeroom. I got in many-an-argument over sharing work. Everyone was precious about everything. I'd say things like, "come on man, it's called collaboration." Or, "It's not hurting you any." Or even the sensible, "it's better for your back not to hunch over like that." And would you believe people argued? Apparently I was ahead of my time.

So now I'd like to say, "I knew it. I knew better." And I hope you've learned your lesson. Thank goodness for collaboration.

Only Time

2009-11-10T21:13:00.000-08:00

It's no surprise, I'm a n00b and am, for all intensive purposes, uneducated in the law of the land. I went to school and they told me I could be amazing. I got a job and thought I would be amazing. For these past few months I've been quietly soaking up everything ounce of knowledge I can from this place, but it doesn't come easy. Tonight however, I had a formal schooling. During a pit stop at La Merde with the boys I had the opportunity to explicitly learn a thing or two. Here's my main takeaway from the evening:

Why November

2009-11-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

You've snuck up on me. October was a month amongst months and we here at Mutt are sad to see it go. I've got to catch you all up on a few things. The last of October brought the highlight event of the season, the Moulé Fall Fashion Show. Our good friends (and wonderful client) Moulé hosted an evening of ghoulish (see the Halloween pun there?) -ly good times. The inspiration for this season's show were the Cullens of the world.

That's a vampire reference for the rest of you. Set to a gothic vampire theme, we here at Mutt were asked to produce the visual aesthetic for the event on behalf Ms. Rachel Gorenstein and her tribe of Moulé Fashionistas.

We'll have a video up here in the near future that documents the entire evening, but to give those of you non-attendees an idea of what happened, we have some pictures to share. As you can see, we all had quite a good time.

EiEi Yoga

2009-10-31T00:04:00.001-07:00

I've been on a yoga high since the beginning of the year. I had a twice-weekly yoga class that I frequented regularly and by mid-June I was fully centered and five times as flexible. But with the move and recent hire I haven't had a chance to find anything comparable to Michelle's 8:30 am Hatha Hour.

It's been over four months and needless to say I'm getting ansy (and stiff). I asked around and struck up a conversation with Partner Chromeo and Nicky Fresh on the subject. The two are quite the yoga connoisseurs and shared a great deal of knowledge regarding Northwest Yoga trends. They suggested a few places around town and insisted I check out a guy named Yogi Okie Dokie, with Cromer saying he's been training with him for decades, as an outside training source.

I was sent home with nothing less than an old VHS with EiEi Yoga plastered on the top and the promise that I'd be back to being fit in no time. Once home I popped in the tape. Rather than express my reactions, I'd rather you explore yours. Here's an excerpt....

UPDATE:

Mrs. Okie Dokie, Robin Maxwell, very politely asked that we take down the video of her husband and we here at Mutt are happy to oblige. So instead of the video here is a link to an article about the video with an excerpt from Mrs. Dokie herself.

Oh, Portland.

2009-10-28T21:28:00.001-07:00

How you've hurt me. I've spent the last four or so months wandering around Portland whilst running errands, or trying to grab a bite to eat, and for the most part I've been loving it. But today one thing hit me: I get lost a lot. It's not even my fault, you see, Portland (supposedly well known for its city planning) has a lot of these things:
And they're annoying. Just today I found myself on the wrong end of more than a few one way streets. And every time I wanted so badly to cheat it, alas, I've had enough conversations with local police officers for the time being.

I'm all for controlling traffic flow...in fact, I would LOVE to control the traffic, but these one-way streets are killing me.

thats neat.

2009-10-26T13:10:00.000-07:00

you've probably seen this, its been there a few weeks now on the corner of Lloyd and Grand... i'm not exactly sure if its an Oregon Lottery billboard thats missing the type, or something else.. but we all agree we like it very much.

we have emailed clear channel to find out who the genius is. stay tuned.

I'm Not Sure About This

2009-10-23T17:10:00.001-07:00

I've seen a lot of things on the internet. To get more specific, I've seen a lot of Russian things on the internet. I've seen crazy Spetznaz bootcamp pictures, kids throwing cats in McDonalds, strange servers-sticking-out-of-things phenomenon, to name a few. The point is, if it's a picture of video tagged with something about it coming from Russia you're sure to be in a for a treat. And that's where this post comes in. We stumbled upon another Russian oddity today at the Office. But I'm not sure how I feel about it. Is it sad, or funny, or both, or neither?

Quote of the Day

2009-10-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

"What is the metric equivalent of 100%?"

"I don't know. Probably something like 203%"

Crushed

2009-10-20T17:07:00.001-07:00

This is Damien and he is sad. After a night of dominating the first few rounds of the World Cup as the United States, he found himself (and his teammate Nick) pitted against number one Brazil for the final game. Today was the playoff and if you can't tell by his expression, they lost. Not only that, this was taken after their second attempt.

Here you see a failed slide tackle by the duo....Two-time losers, Damien and Nick, are about to drown their sorrows in potato chips and Paciugo mechanicals. Keep them in your thoughts dear readers.

On a side-note, today is your luck day, you could say you've found the golden ticket. Here, for your viewing pleasure, is a synopsis of Nick Clines dream from last night:

"I dreamt that Brad Pitt was being slaughtered by a mob for people with swords and machetes, while I was dragging him through a fortress made entirely of ground beef patties."

I'm currently seeking illustrators who would like to work together to create a visual representation. I'm also seeking psychologists who would be willing to help Nick through some of his aggression towards celebrities.

Mutt's Newest Addition

2009-10-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

After two long days in the hospital Mr. and Mrs. Beauvais have given birth to a lovely little girl. Coral Sabine Beauvais was born at 10:45 PM on 10/14/09. She's 8lbs 9ozs and 21 inches tall.

David sent us a note saying that Alicia and Coral are both doing great, but exhausted.

UPDATE: We've got a picture! Look how cute this little one is, looks just like a cute version of her dad.

Wednesday, you were not forgotten.

2009-10-15T00:02:00.000-07:00

I arrived at Mutt shortly before the 9:45 mark on account of mad traffic on US-26 and I-5. I've been commuting into Portland for the past three and a half months and every morning I die a little bit more inside. You see, morning commuters are horrible drivers. I'm at my wit's end not to slap someone. (A little sidenote: if you google "at my wit's end" you get a lot of really sad family and life counseling websites).

I'd like to be a little bit more friendly to the environment and use the MAX and my bike but winter is fast approaching and biking in the rain is a chore. So for now I commute via the automobile and I clock in around 40+ minutes in the morning. Today it was closer to an hour and some change because the roads were wet and people forget how to drive when the pavement is moist, they run right into each other.

I digress, the point is coming up. I got into work and needed to relax. In the Zavertnik family relaxing is expressed most frequently through binge cleaning (I promise it works). So I organized my table and unwound. I upgraded chairs too. Anyway, now my space looks legit.

Halloween Costume, almost check

2009-10-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

I've told you before that I am a might big fan of Daft Punk. But it's not just their music that get's me excited. It's also their amazing costumes. And it just so happens that eighteen days from now we will all be celebrating the third most costumed day in American culture.

If you haven't put the two seemingly separate statements from the previous paragraph together yet, please take a second. For those of you who have- it's true, I'd like to be Daft Punk for Halloween. I've been investigating the costume this evening and lo and behold, I found a man who can make replica masks (and tells you how to do it yourself). This is the one I want.

I've got this.

HOLY MACKEREL

2009-10-12T14:57:00.000-07:00

DAVID AND ALICIA ARE HAVING A BABY!

Congrats to Mr. Beauvais! We hope he'll send a photo when the baby is born. In the meantime, here's an artist's rendition of David as a baby.

Sexy People

2009-10-05T15:08:00.000-07:00

Our blog hardly compares to this genius (but please continue to follow us). Sexy people. Give it a look. The one I posted up here might be the best I've seen in my fifteen minutes of perusing. Oh my.

Skylab Shoot

2009-09-29T14:40:00.000-07:00

Our Skylab project has gone through quite a few changes over the course of the summer. But today we finished our second day of the photo shoot for some web content and it is looking pretty rad, if I may say so.

I know I'd like to live in a place like that. It's huge too, over 3000 square feet. And completely customizable. I'll keep you updated on the progress of this project, and when we get the website built, you'll be the second to see it (Jeff obviously get's first dibs).

We've Got a Studio!

2009-09-28T12:05:00.000-07:00

We're making some upgrades here at Mutt. Last Friday when we had our little toy shopping spree we also went down to Pro Photo in NW to get some gear for the Skylab photo shoot. The smooth tongued salesman at the counter convinced Mike to get a three-piece set of used soft lights. So with the addition (today) of a 36 x 9 foot white background, we're nearly a full-on studio.

This is a far cry from the old days of Mutt's Studio:

Beep Beep Baby

2009-09-25T22:30:00.000-07:00

There are certain people in the world that love trains. Our man DB is one of them, so much so that when we visited the local hobby shop he finagled a private viewing of the owners personal train set for himself, me and mike.

This was frankly one of the most bizarre and uncomfortable situations I've ever been in. We were taken into the basement of the hobby shop, beyond a locked door into a giant room of a train set. It filled the basement wall to wall with a hobby I never quite understood. I'm not so much in to the analog Sim City 3000.

And we stayed there for at least thirty minutes while the this guy ranted about his family's train set-up.

Apparently on Saturday's the old boys (his pop and his friends) make their way down to "do work (but really they just come to run the set)" as Billy here explained. He pointed to about five seats in the middle of the train set and told us they sat there and watched while he ran the store upstairs. And in a bin next to the chairs were not beer bottles, or even a bong as one might expect, instead is was teaming with empty coke cans. One of the Saturdays you'll have to join me for one of their ragers.

W is for Wenis

2009-09-24T10:53:00.001-07:00

It's not everyday that I get to drop some knowledge on the boys here at Mutt, after all, I'm only 22 (tall, athletic and available, wink wink).

But today I had the privilege to share a word I learned at school: Wenis, or, the skin on your elbow. Technically it's not a real word (says webster) but it has an urban dictionary page, so we'll count it.

Now, here's a picture of the Mutt Wenis's. Can you guess whose is whose?

I am Immune (the working title)

2009-09-23T16:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks, no fresh news on the porno front. But I've got some exciting content on the hamster front. I'm sure you remember a few posts about my frantic hamster hunt. Well, here's how that story finished: I did buy a hamster and I gave it the time of its life.

See there? If I had given you a proper pause (impossible via the blog) you might suspect the little guy died during filming. But fear not! No hamsters were harmed during filming. Instead, little Luker got a chance to explore the streets of Southeast Portland.

My feet (and entire body) made a special appearance a few times.

That hamster is going to have stories to tell to it's little grandkids. He'll speak of the giants from Mutt who taught him how to be a baller.

I'm too clever.

Jumping Crocodiles

2009-09-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

I'm a man of my word.

I'd like to tell you about the low-budget porno being shot outside our office doors, but I made a promise to tell you about jumping crocodiles today.

In 2007 I was fed up with the Northwest, the direction of my life and heaps of other things, so I made a break for it. I traded in the University of Oregon in Eugene for Latrobe University in Melbourne, Australia. But it wasn't really about the studying, in fact, my schedule was breezy so I had lots of free time on my hands. Most of it was spent exploring the city (Melbourne, pronounced Mellben, no 'r' please, is the best city I've ever been to) but every so often I had a week or two off and I took a big trip. One of the trips was up to Cairns and Darwin, two tropical paradises up on the northern coast.

In Darwin I went to Kakadu National Forest, swam under waterfalls and saw some jumping crocodiles. Check it out.

These things were enormous, like 15 feet long....

Of course they didn't jump on their own. The boat driver was dangling giant chunks of chicken over the side to get him to...

It was a pretty rad trip. I'll save the rest of my Australian stories for another time. And worry not, the filming outside is going to continue tomorrow, so when they wrap it up (I hope they have been. ZING!) I'll write a post, hopefully with some images.