That's Kofi and he just beat me 2-1. Well, his country (Ghana) beat mine (U-S-A!). And of course Kofi is pimping around South Africa right now running his mouth and sending angry, threatening texts (not sure what I did to piss him off).
I'm trying to act mature and say all the right things. But it's boring, and really what I want to do right now is dive on Kofi's posterior cruciate ligament and get red carded for the night.
Since that's not an option let's try this....hey Kofi, I challenge you to a one-on-one match in Ghana, on your pitch, with your ball. And yes, you can invite all 750 members of your family for support (so long as they blow those vuvuzelas... I like that shit).
I know what some of you soccer snobs are thinking.
Soccer isn't basketball!! You can't play one-on-one!!
Who will play goalie?
What about corner kicks?
Oh what a silly idea..THAT'S not real soccer.
Sorry Bebito. I can't hear you.
I'm too busy thinking about flying halfway round the world and going shin-to-shin with a 250 pound bull, in front of hostile aunts and wild tigers and shit.
Okay Koki....the jabulani is on your pitch.
What you got?
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