Friday, May 8, 2009

I Got Some Pig in Me.

In a cruel twist of fate, it appears as though I have contracted the swine flu. Some of you may recall an earlier post, in which I upbraided pigs for being the most vile animal on the planet. Now, it seems, the dirty bastards have burst through my immune system and are wreaking havoc on my innards. Needless to say the show must go on and, yes, I will be in the office today. But between my hacking cough and phlegm soaked lungs, I'm not exactly a joy to be around. Just last night, while sipping a hot totty at my local, an uptight couple sitting next to me scoffed every time I sneezed, coughed and/or honked my nose. Apparently it's illegal to go to a bar when you're sick? Anyway, I'm heavily medicated and well-dressed so today anything is possible.

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