Monday, July 19, 2010


Our fury, bespectacled David Z'avertnik just completed a grueling bike race from Seattle to Portland.

The mere thought of this race makes my lower back tighten...I can barely finish the drive from Portland to Seattle, let alone bang out 100 plus miles in 36 hours.

Just consider my last road trip to Seattle:

Fatigue set in around mile 30, followed shortly by lower back stiffness and nausea, culminating in general anxiety and, finally, a moderate to severe panic attack outside of Tacoma.

By the time I finally hit Safeco Field, tears were welling my eyes.

Now cut to Z out there on some god forsaken state highway, sans a combustible engine and the snappy, distracting beats of Phil Collins, slurping protein goo and trading paint with hairless, doped up Lance Armstrong wannabees. One can only imagine the physical pain that Z suffered, as well as the mental anguish and white hot hatred he must have felt for those poser wannabees.

All I can say is, "Z is we. And we are Z.”

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