Sorry Friends

It's Friday, but you haven't even heard about our week! So ein mist! Well, I'm here to correct that for you. We've had quite a January Finale here at 215 SE Morrison Suite #2004 (please address all baked good to Mr. David Zavertnik).

The highlights go something like this -->

Monday was apparently very forgettable.

Tuesday was Cromer's Geburtstag. (Why so much Deustch, you ask? It must be the Lagunitas Pilsner speaking through me, and seeing as I don't know a lick of Czech, the closest thing I've come to is German.) Yes yes, it was Cromer's forty-first birthday and if you haven't wished him well, you ought to. So here's to Cromer and his long-lasting health- thank you Yoga...

On Wednesday, the Mac-attack dropped the iPad and we here in the studio giggled for about half of the day. I personally would have loved to have been in the creative presentation for that one. "See, it's a tablet but we've got a cooler name than iTablet. Introducing the iPad." And everyone clapped and pocketed millions of dollars. We'd like to jump on that wagon. Introducing the iPad Trousers....

Although it took the pilot two attempts at a landing, Thursday took one-half of the Mutt party south to the birthplace of the hyphy movement, Oakland, California. Represent. Unfortunately the Pac-Ten tour omitted some of the finer cultural events... All is well though, I hear they had a few hours to kill before they left so I'm willing to bet Webb showed them the streets. In fact, I think we might see a reincarnation of To and Afro in the near future!

But the highest highlight of the week, save Cromer's birthday festivities, has to be today's visit from our Sambazon friend, Jeremy, who not only brought his smiling Southern California grin, but a grip of purple power in a bottle. Just look at us now- Mutt has never been so healthy...

Have a good weekend, friends, family and loved ones. Until next time, this is Captain Z, signing off.

Mudd Industries, Take Seven

Mutt had quite an adventure this weekend. While you were cuddled up under your warm Pendelton watching the future of football unfold before your eyes**, a few busloads of dedicated Portland Creatives worked all Sunday in the pouring rain. It's important to note that while you may not have been looking outside your windows, that rain did not let up for a minute all afternoon.

**sidenote: Damien has guaranteed me that the Saints will be winning the Super Bowl this year. He says he traveled in time to find out. Place your bets now.

This was my first official shoot as a Mutt and as a human being and it was incredible. I'm told it was maybe one of the worst situations I'll ever experience in the world of advertising but I cannot begin to image how the good ones turn out. The amount of dedication shown, both on the side of our talented staff and mother nature, was staggering. Everyone absolutely killed it.

Not only are we in a lake of mud, we're also getting drilled by freezing cold buckets of water.

And there's our fearless client, Lee Gargis, Veteran Coke Executive and overall badass. Nick is stoked to have stood next to him.

Mutt Delivers

As a startup agency, we here at Mutt have some interesting opportunities available to us, specifically, we can be whatever we want to be. We tell people we are a full service agency but sometimes I'm not sure they understand what i mean by "full-service." You see the employees of Mutt Industries have wide-spreading passions that lead us to pursue some non-traditional ventures. Take for example Mutt Daycare™. Rumors say it'll be opening doors mid-June. Or the nearly platinum-hit success story of To and Afro. Rest in peace. And who could forget the Mutt Dance Academy™ chock full of imported professors of dance?

Well, ladies and gentlemen, Mutt has a new secret weapon, and its faster than the internet. Well, almost, but once we get the paperwork through the patent office, our Mutt Rocket Boots™ will definitely will be lightning quick. Prepare to feast your eyes on the wave of the future.

Horribly Fantastic

Inspiration comes from everywhere. Take this now defunct production studio from New York called Dolphin Graphics. I absolutely love this stuff...

It is important that you double click the photo just above this text. Make it large and view it as it was meant to be seen.

Today at Mutt we learned the art of the three-way video chat. You see, before today David Beauvais, Damien Webb and myself have had a difficult time discussing projects whilst sitting at our computers. We'd have to turn, move screens to the side and talk loudly to one another. Now though, we've got video chat. Hello Mutt Productivity, welcome to the year 2010...

Uncle Z

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have some very exciting news. In a little more than four months my oldest brother and his wife are expecting their first child. This will make me an uncle for the first time in my life.

The best part - A few days ago I met up with my brother for drinks at Por Que No and he dropped the news. When he told me, he explained what the experience was like at the clinic:

"So the baby is curled up in Rachel's stomach with one arm behind his head like he's posing for the ultrasound. The doctor moves the ultrasound around to show us our boy and as he passes major body parts he makes an announcement, 'and here's your baby's heart!'
But dude, our baby is going to be a ladies man, because nearly every time the doctor passed our baby he'd say, "...and there's the penis again." I guess most babies are hard to distinguish at such an early age, but our little guy was just BAM!"
Giggle, giggle....Guess who's going to be the raddest uncle in the world? I am because I am going to teach my nephew the ways of the lady man. And thanks to the boys here at Mutt my skill set has just about septupled.

The worst part - I lost the 2010 Zavertnik Baby Bet. There goes world-record winning streak of 22 years undefeated.

Congratulations big brother!

Strength To Love

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."

This is a man I would have liked to have met.

To and Afro

Mutt started a seventies afro-electro-beat sensation today. The duo, shown above, began recording this morning around eleven, completed half a track and then quickly disbanded citing "artistic differences." It seems some things aren't meant to be.

R.I.P.
To and Afro
1.13.10-1.13.10

Happy New Week

Monday's are always off. I'll wake up, tired, unmotivated and fully ready to continue into a third day of relaxation. The second alarm sounds and I begin to rationalize a reason for staying put under the covers and sheltered from the cold air that accumulated in my room overnight. I'm good at rationalizing and generally succeed, until the third alarm. By then, though, it's embarrassing realizing it takes me three separate alarms to be a responsible adult and I drag my half-asleep body to the kitchen for some breakfast.

Woe is me.

But today, this Monday of all Mondays, I woke up entirely independent of an alarm clock. It must have had something to do with going to bed at a fairly reasonable time and a recent bout of exercise- who'd have guessed. So I went in to work and wouldn't you know it, our long lost (and bronzed) Luker was there to greet me. Yes dear followers, Mutt is back to full capacity friends, we even had Mona back in the office today. The seven of us inside our luxurious second floor studio working away on a long list chock-full of our beloved clients and their creative needs. This is going to be a good week.

The End Of An Era

Wowzer, it's been a trip ladies and gentlemen. If I were to be honest, I'd say it's been too short, but that just means it'll have to continue in the future. For now though, I'd like to close a chapter on the Fabian Chronicles.
When I met Fabian four months ago, I had no idea what I was getting into. This man is a genius, I recommend each and every one of you listen to everything he has to say and soak it in.

MUTT: Who is your favorite dictator?

Fabian: Josip Broz Tito, the Yugoslav statesman and revolutionary. He's kind of a weird hero in international relations circles. Even though he was a communist, he eventually formed the non-alignment party. He said, “let’s not play” in terms of the whole aligned parties (Warsaw pact and Nato) and instead kicked it with the South Pacific islands and such. He also got all the people of Yugoslavia together; in a time and place where there was a lot of national angst among Eastern European peoples he managed to keep everyone in Yugoslavia relatively happy and content.

As an aside, the dictator I disliked the most Pol Pot. He started the Khymer Rouge in Cambodia and tried to go to year zero. He basically just killed everyone, Cambodian killing fields, you may have heard of it.

Editors Note: At this point in the conversation we got a bit side-tracked, I forget why or how, but my notes tell me this. Today I learned a word, "Wet." I'd never heard it used in the way Fabian had, so excuse me if you're ahead of me on this one. But to those who weren't born on the street, Wet means to get your hands bloody. Education is Power, as they say....And back to it!

MUTT: What would you like to be remembered for?

Fabian: A character and a stand-up guy. You know, a solid guy. Reliable, thoughtful and so forth. But also, a character. That’s part of my shtick. I like to be entertained, so I like to be entertaining as well. What’s more important than having a good time and being true to yourself.

MUTT: I like it. Alright Fabian, one last question. Would you rather have wisdom or wealth?

Fabian: I'll end it with a quote from our good friend Sophocles in his Athenian tragedy, "Oedipus Rex." He said, "Alas, how terrible is wisdom when it brings no profit to the man that's wise!"

Mutt: Preach. Thanks again Fabian.

Fabian: You're welcome my man.

So there it is folks. Tune in next time to hear more from the world of the John Deere factory on SE Morrison.

Here's To Our Health

That, my friends, is a grip of glorious fruit called the Açaí (pronounced ah-sigh-ee, unlike how you just said it in your head) berry. And each of those beautiful purple nuggets is chock-full of anti-oxidants, healthy (monounsaturated) fats, fiber, amino acids, vitamins and heaps more.

Since when did I become a nutritional expert? Not important, because this is not a healthy soap-box. This is me teasing an introduction to a healthy product that we, Mutt Industries of Portland, Oregon, have just begun an exciting and promising relationship with. That is to say, dearest listeners, that while you were prepping for the holidays we here at mutt were pitching the masters of açaí, Sambazon.


Without further adieu, I can now tell you the most exciting news of the year thus far.

We are the new Samabzon creative agency!

During the pitch I went on a little adventure around SE Portland for this purple power and found it just about everywhere (which means you probably can too), it's hella tasty. And I'm not just saying that- it's pure gold, nom nom. Cheers!

Because Zed Needs Me.

There's been a lot of chirping about me dumping this critically acclaimed blog in favor of more serious, adult responsibilities. I realize transition can be difficult for some people. Especially for crusty jackasses like this who haven't a clue about the angst and sexual confusion many Millennials are experiencing today. As a wise yet sensitive Gen X'er, I can feel the hurt in Young Zed's voice when he ticks off the debilitating scars suffered from yet another vodka-soaked weekend of hapless hipsters, whiny music and midgets. It's my job to console the young people, especially when they're as impressionable as Young Zed. As for my haters, I suggest you buy a family-pack of Pop Tarts and zip it. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go apply lotion to my recently bronzed torso.

PS--What an absurdly precious, self-important FB picture. I mean, really?