There was a time, several decades ago, when my sports teams used to dominate. Sadly, this is no longer the case. Today things are so bad that I've effectively traded sports for more compelling competitions like Family Feud. Honestly, I would rather invest my emotions in an anonymous, potentially fake family than suffer through another dismal season by the Reds. At least I have a 50% chance of winning. For now I'll just have to settle for the shenanigans of Mr. Red. He is easily the dumbest, least athletic mascot in all of sports. What in God's name did I do to deserve this?