Vegetables.

Well, I promised you today we'd talk about vegetables...

I'm vegetarian, so I spent most of this evening writing a gigantic post with information about the benefits and I tried to kill a few of the myths associate with the lifestyle, but I got bored (what a waste of time) and I think you would have been bored reading it. So rather than do that, I'll re-enact a conversation I had a bit ago.

"You're vegetarian?! But Why?!"

Because.

"Do you eat fish?"

Fish is meat. I don't eat meat.

"It's just some people eat fish"

And they're not really vegetarians, they're called pescetarian. Anyway, I'm vegetarian for a few reasons. It's healthier, animals and animal farming wastes a lot of resources, and it's pretty unethical. Not to mention I didn't really enjoy meat in the first place.

"But how do you get your protein?"

You're naive. I get plenty of protein. In fact, you probably get too much. Did you know Americans get too much protein in their diets?

"How can you have too much? It's good for you, especially for athletes like me."

Now you're just ignorant. Too much can give you heaps of diseases. Heart disease, cancer and so on. And there's information out there that says you don't need any more protein to build muscle...Actually, you know what? You're an adult, it would do you some good to read a book that's a little more engaging than Twilight. Read this. "Food Revolution: How Your Diet Can Help Save Your Life and Our World." by John Robbins. He was heir to the Baskin-Robbins franchise but gave it up and became vegan and a health-guru. It has everything you want to know.

"I love Twilight. OMG, have you seen the trailer for the second movie?!"

.....

"Anyway, what does the book say?"

Just what I did. It's healthier, you lower your risk of getting tons of diseases by removing meat and dairy. Not only that, when I started out I felt about a thousand times better than when I was eating meat a lots of dairy. You don't feel sluggish, bloated or any of that. Health is probably my number one reason for doing this man. It's all about eating well. Just think, lots of really really good fruits and vegetables and nuts and legumes. Delicious stuff.

"You're weird. I love meat."

Whatever man. Eating dead animals. That's weird.

"Vegetables are alive too. You're chopping down broccoli forests all over the world!"

I'm done.

"No. No. I'm kidding. Ethical I get. I can't say I really care enough to stop eating meat, but I guess you do...The environment thing, I don't get."

Meat wastes a lot of resources, hombre. Do me a favor, read that book, it has everything in it and you can look up the articles he cites if you're so inclined.

*MONTHS LATER*

"I finally finished that book, it took me forever."

Yeah, but it's good right?

"Very! You were right. Now I'm going to give you hundreds of billions of dollars because I'm one of the wealthiest people in the world. And you've saved my life."

Word.

{FIN}

It happened exactly like that, but he never paid up. And he stole my copy of the book....

But you need to read it. You can get it from your public library! Multnomah county has four copies. My library, Washington County, has seven. Chances are yours has plenty.

I've finished my bag of carrots and Daft Punk is nearly over.

DZ OUT.