Let's Do This.

Approximately one hour from now, I am going to walk out of our studio, slide behind my $50,000 Isuzu, drive to my home in north Portland, shake hands with Tim from 24/7 Wildlife, scale a ladder and set about wreaking complete and utter destruction on the squirrel colony that has mocked me for the last four years. I feel oddly calm and at peace right now—standard procedure for a solider of my bearing. But let me reassure you that once the fur starts flying, it’s gonna look and feel like a mad dog mauling a mouse.